... Not To Be Overwhelmed

Teachers across the world have been working so hard to deliver as high a quality of remote learning as they can. I have received so many heart-warming emails from grateful parents acknowledging this. The majority of teachers worked throughout their Easter holidays to get online resources ready and to learn how to use new learning platforms. They’re doing their absolute best and they’re doing an incredible job.

And then an email arrives. It’s blunt and to the point, written from a place of frustration from a parent who is struggling to work from home whilst also trying to help their children with their remote learning. It’s so hard and stressful to be a working parent at the moment, trying to balance so many conflicting demands. But the email sits there, staring out at the exhausted teacher. It feels personal, directed solely at them rather than the situation or the technology. They try to leave it in the inbox but it follows then out into the garden, it follows them upstairs to bed, it’s still there at the front of their consciousness at breakfast the next day. They are sure that this one email is probably representative of how lots of parents feel. They start to question their ability, how they’re going to cope for the unforeseeable future, with no end to remote learning in sight. I’m sure whatever field of work you’re engaged in, you can relate to this scenario.

This is the reality of being a teacher. We feel like this normally because teaching isn’t just a job that most of us can switch off from at the end of the day. It’s true when people say it’s a vocation. No-one is a teacher because they want to let children down, or want children to be stressed because they can’t upload their work at the end of an online lesson. Teachers don’t see pupils as just names on a spreadsheet – they’re individuals, with all their different characteristics that make them unique and that affect the way a teacher interacts with them, in order to help them get the most from their learning. So that one email takes on a significance out of all proportion to what it should. It starts to overwhelm the teacher.

There are times in life when I wonder how I’m going to keep it all together. How I’m going to keep all the balls in the air and not drop any of them. How I’m not going to be overwhelmed by all that’s expected of me as a leader, an employee, a colleague, a husband, a father, a friend. These moments usually come at times when I’m very busy, and are usually a perfect storm of different things that seem to hit me from every side, some which I’ve seen coming and others that I haven’t. It’s so easy to lose all sense of perspective at these times, for it to overwhelm every aspect of my life, and for it to affect my mental health and wellbeing.

It’s part of life. There will be times when it will feel like a tsunami of events all collide at once. We feel like it’s directed at us and that we’re expected to deal with it all on our own. I have three words written on the inside cover of my work journal that I take to every meeting I attend:

Personalisation

Pervasiveness

Permanence

These three ideas came from Sheryl Sandberg’s amazing book “Option B”. Sheryl is the COO of Facebook and wrote the book to share her journey following the sudden and unexpected death of her husband. I shared these three Ps with my staff yesterday, at our online Zoom Staff Meeting, in the hope that it would help them when they have doubts or are feeling overwhelmed.

Personalisation - teachers seem to be hard-wired to take everything to heart. It’s what makes them such caring & compassionate people. We need to be better at realising that most things aren’t aimed directly at us, and that we’re not personally at fault. It tends to be directed at an issue or a situation, not us.

Pervasiveness – somehow, we need to develop strategies that allow us to make sure that an event at work doesn’t affect all aspects of our life. Easier said than done and I’m one of the worst for not being able to switch off at night. Simple disciplines such as not looking at emails after a certain time, turning off notifications, switching from teacher to family mode when you walk or drive past a particular point on your journey home (a bit hard in lockdown I know!) can all help.

Permanence – remembering that we go through seasons in our life. When we’re being buffeted by the storms of life we often can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. We assume this is how it’s always going to be or that it’s only going to get worse. We need to remind ourselves that whatever the issue is, it will get resolved one way or another, and everyone will move on.

I’ve come through each and every of the storms of life that have buffeted me so far. Some haven’t been easy. I may have picked up scars along the way that will always be there. But I’m still here. I’m still smiling. I’m still striving to be the best husband, father, leader, colleague, employee and friend that I can be. And the 3 Ps have helped in that process and maybe they can help you too.